LOST Theatre 10 -12, 18 – 20 December. Reviewed by Claire Roderick
Camp as Christmas and sharp as nails, Kitten In Heels is fan-flipping-tastic!
In this mad mash up of Dick Whittington and Puss in Boots, Katie Hopkins is dead (drowned in her own bile) and all that she has left her youngest son, Dick Whittington (Ashton Charge, wonderfully wet and witless) is a talking cat (Becky Finlay-Hall, Head Girl with a tail) with a shoe fetish. Dick sets off to seek his fortune in London, having spent his last penny on very unsuitable shoes for his puss. He ends up lodging with Dame Jimmy Choo at Shoes the Chemist, and falls for her daughter Jenny (a superbly sulky Holly Aisbitt). King Rat, evil landlord and mayoral candidate (Boris has left to fleece the home counties) reluctantly accepts Dame Choo’s help with his campaign while Puss does her best to make Dick attractive to Jenny – definitely onto a loser there, she’s always moaning about only having oranges. Fancy Chance pops up at opportune moments with a sly smile to sell vital props at convenient prices, and becomes the object of Jenny’s affections, culminating hysterically in the obligatory dream ballet sequence. Paul L. Martin is certifiable as Dame Choo in glorious wigs and costumes -”like a feminine Theresa May”. His version of “Memory” is bizarre and bonkers. He fights for centre stage with Jamie Anderson as King Rat, in high heels and silver leggings (which led to a new level of audience participation for one unlucky bloke who had to retrieve his mike pack – I think this could get written into each night’s performance). Both men are side-splittingly funny, whether on or off script – at times it was hard to tell.
Birgitta Kenyon keeps a straight face on the piano and accompanies the superb songs, as well as showcasing phenomenal kazoo skills. From Adele to The Proclaimers and Starship, no genre is left unplundered. The bells telling Dick to turn again leads to a glorious rendition of “Total Eclipse of the Heart” (obviously) that had the entire audience singing along and whooping for more. “The Circle of Life” becomes “The City of Shite” when dedicated to old London town. Instead of wild animals, mangy pigeons dance around as the cast chant “went to Primark, couldn’t afford Prada” – brilliant! As for their version of “O Come All Ye Faithful” – filthy! And fabulous.
The jokes are a perfect panto blend of hoary old chestnuts (which Martin milks so much they do make you laugh) and biting satire – immigration, terrorism, Alton Towers, manspreading, and lots of digs at politicians (Boris even makes a cameo appearance). Fantastic fun, and the bar is open throughout the show. What more could you want? A perfect Christmas night out with your mates.